One thing you must know about me is that I am in love with the Halo series. One of my gaming related goals is to own all the Halo games and to beat them all on Legendary (aside from Halo Wars; it’s incredibly difficult). I read all the books as they come out, I’ve got a poster, calendar, t-shirt, a McFarlane figure, and a bunch of other stuff, so naturally, some of my blog posts are going to be dedicated to Spartan 117 and the rest of the crew.
One of the things I love about Halo is that it always includes a great amout of humor, although not so much in Halo 4. The humor is evident in nearly every facet of the series from the mission names and achievement titles to the dialogue and great easter eggs. Today, I’ll be focusing on some Halo 3 dialogue. A lot of the humor in Halo 3 is hidden, such as with the ;arge amount of hidden easter eggs; one of the greatest easter eggs is the IWHBYD Skull.
If you don’t know what I’m talking about, IWHBYD is an acronym for “I would have been your daddy,” which is a reference to a line in Halo: Combat Evolved in which Sergeant Johnson says the now famous line “I would have been your daddy, but a dog beat me over the fence!” Skulls in Halo are sort of like an in-game scavenger hunt; there is one skull hidden at a specific location in each level, and when you find it, it unlocks an ability in the campaign menu.
These abilities can make the game more interesting or more difficult. One skull causes less ammo to fall from dead bodies, and another causes computer controlled players to throw more grenades, and another eliminates your radar, just to name a few. Some skulls are a bit more absurd; one causes Grunt heads to explode like a confetti filled Pinata if you score a headshot on them, another eliminates your entire HUD (including your arm, reticle, and weapon, so you see exactly what you would see if you were walking with your hands by your side in real life). The most famous skull, the IWHBYD skull, unlocks rare, oftentimes hilarious dialogue, and because it is dialogue related, is named in reference to the original line spoken by Sergeant Johnson.
The IWHBYD Skull is pretty tough to get, and I can’t imagine how anyone managed to do it without cheating in the first place. In the level it appears in, there is a long row or giant rings hanging in the sky, as you can see in the picture to the right. You have to jump through the rings in the correct sequence in order for the skull to appear, and it can be tough remembering which ring is which, considering how far apart they are. Without the Wiki, I wouldn’t have been able to do it; I don’t know how the first player ever achieved the feat on his or her own. This difficulty makes the outcome even sweeter.
So, without further ado, here are some of my favorite IWHBYD lines, in no particular order. If you want to hear them in game, there are some great montages on YouTube, such as this one. There are a few more in the series from this particular YouTuber, and he manages to get most of the great quotes.
“You know, if he gets us, he will tear out our skulls, rip off our masks, and burn the methane, *sighs*, we deserve it”.-Grunts
“This is a biblical kind of doom.”-Grunts
“Hey! Demon! The jerk store called, they’re all out of you!”-Grunts
“He’ll kill us, snap off our arms and use them as Maracas!”-Grunts
“Quick question. Have we ever wandered off, looking for the enemy and NOT ended up dead?”-Grunts
“Ok genius. That’s great! You go… and I’ll wait to see where you die. And then I’ll go somewhere else.”-Grunts
“Has that ever happened when you’re looking for something and then, ok you think “Ah, there’s no way. That’s not you” but that’s you, haha. I didn’t even think…yeah…Oh, that’s right, I have to kill you.”-Grunts
“You killed Flipyap! Or Yapflip, was he… it was Yapflip… no, Flipyap was his brother. Don’t tell me I don’t know Flipyap! Flipyap and I went to Nipple Academy together, and, now, now he’s dead!”-Grunts
“You’re undressing me with your eyes, aren’t you? You sick freak.”-Marines
“THIS IS SPARTA!”-Marines
“And I only pee’d myself a little!”-Marines
“I’ll rip off your arms and play bongos on your head!”-Marines
“I once killed a man in a Tanzanian bar for staring at me too long. Turns out he was blind. Tragic, really.”-ODST
“That one called you fat, Chief!”-Sergeant Johnson
“What? Do you want me to say ‘Wort Wort Wort’?”-Elites (You would have needed to play Halo:CE to get this one)
“Really, I’m not going to kiss you in front of everyone.”-Elites when stared at
“You shot me, fool.”-Arbiter
“That hurt my feelings! …Oh my God, I have feelings?! I’m a real boy!”-343 Guilty Spark/Monitor
“Oh, I see. You’re a moron.”-343 Guilty Spark/Monitor
“I TOLD you to upgrade your Combat Skin!”-343 Guilty Spark/Monitor (Again, not funny unless you’ve played Halo:CE)
Again, a lot of these may not seem very funny written here, but in the game or in a video, they’re much funnier; context sometimes means everything. I think the fact that most military games are pretty serious makes the quotes even funnier; you’re not always expecting a witty one-liner from an FPS. Oh, Halo, you never cease to entertain me!
If you’ve enjoyed, leave a like or a follow, and please give me an idea for a new article; I’m running low on though-provoking ones, so I’m trying to conserve them 🙂 I’m getting my wisdom teeth taken out in a couple days, so I’ll have some downtime to think some up, but I can always use more ideas if you’ve got them.
Maybe check out the LP channels in my “Links” tab, and I’ll see you later (sort of).
Finish The Fight
P.S., my sign-off was a Halo Reference as well 🙂